~So you want to write a Fan Fiction? Great! You want to make it a yaoi Fan Fiction? Even better! With all those time gaps in the story line, it will be easy to conjure up your own sick twisted fetishes! Here are some guide lines you should follow if you want to make your Fan Fiction number one on DA.~
   1. It's not hate; it's sexual tension.
  You want to write about your two favorite characters getting it on in the back room? But what if they don't necessarily enjoy each other's company? Not a problem! Any form of hate or dislike can easily be mistaken with that awkward tension of the want for sex. Not understanding this concept? Easy to fix! Rape is the key word.
   2. Seme
  This is also known as the character on top. The character on top should be the one who usually gets pushed around by others. Example: LightxL. You would assume that Light would top, seeing as he is more straight forward and persistent, right? WRONG! L tops. Ignore the character choices that were made in the amine/manga/book/movie/whatever your characters came from. This character should be nothing short of an aggressive sex crazed maniac.
   3. Uke
  Also known as the bottom. This is the character that is either the shorter of the two or the one who you would assume to be the dominatrix in the original story line. He should be really sensitive and easy to upset in your Fan Fiction. If he doesn't cry at least twice, you did something wrong.
   4. Kissing
  One rule: If they don't suffocate each other with their tongues whilst kissing, they're doing it wrong.
   5. Love
  If your Seme doesn't try to pull off the Uke's dick whilst giving him a hand job, he doesn't love him. And it's not yaoi if there is no love. The sex should be as graphic as possible. It should be for people 18 or over only. I mean there should be hob-knocking and butt-smex in every paragraph. It there's not, you did it wrong.
   6. Public
  The Seme should want to be open about his love for the Uke, but the Uke should cry a lot about not wanting to be teased. They should fight and have make-up sex to make the story more interesting.
   7. Women
  Ha! Women in yaoi? No. None of that. The only women present should be a concerned mom and a bitch girl trying to break up your yaoi couple. You must not let that happen. At any cost. Kill her if you must; in fact, make the Uke do it. The Seme will respect him more. (But the Seme/Uke roles do not change.)
   8. No switching roles.
  Ever. You have one Seme and one Uke. They. Don't. Change. EVER.
   9. I love you.
  The Uke should say this first. This is also your cue word. When the Uke says this, your Seme gets the O.K. to rape him. But it's most defiantly not rape.
   10. Children
  No. They are both men. They can want children (that can add to that sexual tension) but they can never get pregnant. Under any circumstances.
   11. Neko
Neko is the Japanese term for cat. But in your case, it's the magic word for deviation views. If you want people to look at your yaoi, and you do, make one or both of your boys a neko. This means they have cat ears, tails, and cat like characteristics.

    ~I hope these guidelines will help you write the best yaoi ever.~